Jakeb and I woke up, ate a breakfast of bread pastries and was downstairs waiting for our ride to Kinabalu Park Headquarters at 5:30 am.

Mount Kinabalu is the tallest peak in Southeast Asia at 4095.2 meters or 13425 feet. It is normally climbed over the course of two days with a one night stay at the Laban Rata Resthouse at 3272 meters. For my 46th birthday I wanted to hike to the summit and back down with Jakeb in one day.
I had made arrangements with Amazing Borneo Tours to do the one day hard core Low’s Peak Summit hike. The main reason I booked a tour is because when I researched climbing Mount Kinablu in one day I found that only four permits are issued a day and if you try to get one on your own you have to be at the park headquarters the day prior to your climb and there is no guarantee that you will even get a permit. But pay extra and book early through a tour company and of course your chances are almost 100% to get a one day climbing permit.

We arrived at the park at 7:15 am and the guy from Amazing Borneo got our climbing permits and introduced us to our guide Safree. Safree has run the Kinabalu International Climbathon from the trailhead to the summit and back in 2 hours and 44 minutes. He would be more than capable to take us to the summit and back down in a day no problem. Now it was just up to Jakeb and me to make it to the top. The permits we signed made it clear that to continue to the peak we would have to make it to the Laban Rata resthouse by 10:30 am and to Low’s Peak by 1:00 pm. And if the weather deteriorated we would be turned back.

The skies were clear as we started out from Timpohon Gate at 7:55 am. We were supposed to start by 7:30 but the tour bus had to pick up another couple which made us a bit late and me a lot nervous. Being late put me on edge but I also felt like God was saying, “I’m in control of this Tommy. You can’t change the timing. All you can do is hike. Stop worrying about it.”

We set off on a brisk pace with Safree up front, Jakeb in the middle and me behind. The uphill hike is mostly made of steps that are either carved in the hill or made from various sized rocks. There is never a consistent rhythm to the steps one takes because the steps in the mountain vary in size so much. As we continued on it slowly became clear to me that we were moving at a pace that was faster than I could maintain so we backed off a little.

Jakeb and I were both taking S-caps to maintain our salt and electrolyte levels and we were eating almonds and trail mix. We each had three liters of water in a camelbak and a one liter nalgene bottle. I was sweating like crazy but I always do.
The lower parts of the trail had the same sort of foliage we walked through in New Zealand. As we got close to Laban Rata we met people who were on their way down. One of the locals told us we would not have a problem making it to the top because we had the mountain runner as our guide. Just below Laban Rata I started feeling the beginnings of cramps in my quads from all of the pulling up the taller steps.
We arrived at Laban Rata at 10:18 and Safree told us to rest for 10 minutes and then we would continue the climb. Jakeb and I drank a cup of hot tea and ate some trail mix and then continued on. On the steps above Labal Rata my quads cramped for the first time. I had to sit down and elongate the quad muscles to stretch them. Afterwards they felt better and we continued to climb. Jakeb’s muscles bother him a little too but not nearly as bad as mine. Right as we hiked above tree level the clouds got thick and we would get the occasional sprinkle of rain. I was worried we would get turned back but Safree kept charging ahead.

Then climbing up one section where we had to use ropes my quads cramped again. I stretched and started moving but I only made about 10 steps and they cramped again. I told Jakeb “I’m done. I am going to sit here while you and Safree go to the summit and then meet me back here.” He asked “Are you sure.” And I said “yeah” and I assumed my day was done.
If I would have stopped there I would have been disappointed but I would have been okay with it. I had done my best and that’s all I can ask of myself.I lay down on the side of the mountain with my heals pulled against my butt to stretch my quads. I was there about 5 minutes and it started raining. I stood up to get my rain gear on and thought to myself “My legs feel okay”. So I started to hike uphill slowly. And I felt good. I decided to walk until I came upon Jakeb and Safree coming down from the summit and see how far my legs would take me.
As I climbed a little further I came out of the clouds and in the clear there was an amphitheater of peaks around me and I was struck, like I always am when I take time to look, at the wonder of God’s creation. I looked at Low’s Peak and I could see Jakeb and Safree starting the climb up the ridge line. Above them were four other climbers (three climbers and a guide). So much for the fact that the park only issues four one-day permits; this day they issued five.

I continued to walk steadily upwards and before long I found myself at the base of the ridgeline that leads to the summit. Some of it requires you to use your hands and feet to climb up. I heard Jakeb yell, “Come on dad!”
Jakeb made it to the summit of Mount Kinabalu at 12:30 and I arrived at 12:42. As soon as I got there he said “Happy Birthday Dad.” We stayed on the summit for a few minutes. A guy from New Zealand took our picture as it started to rain. We got our rain gear out and headed down.

The walk back down was wet and slippery and we had to use the ropes quite a bit. We stopped at Laban Rata and got a bowl of cream of chicken soup each (sans chicken) two Carlsbergs for me and a coke for Jakeb. I paid more for that meal than any we ate on the whole trip.

We walked hard and got back to the trailhead at a little before 5 pm for a total of 9 hours of hiking.

It was a good day. I got closer to Jakeb, I learned more about myself, and I got closer to God. It was one of the better birthday presents I have ever been given. Thanks babe.

Mount Kinabalu (Malay: Gunung Kinabalu) is a prominent mountain on the island of Borneo in Southeast Asia. It is located in the East Malaysianstate of Sabah and is protected as Kinabalu National Park, a World Heritage Site. Kinabalu is the highest peak in Borneo’s Crocker Range and is the highest mountain in the Malay Archipelago. Mount Kinabalu is also the 20th most prominent mountain in the world by topographic prominence. ~Wikipedia

Happy Birthday, babe. I’m grateful you were born.

Climb Your Mountain ~by Andrea Stunz

Climb your mountain,
And soak in the beauty of creation.

Climb your mountain,
And seek the One who created it.

Climb your mountain,
And submit to the One who created you.

Climb your mountain,
And see yourself as the miracle you are.

You were created for your parents.
They would need you to love.

You were created for your wife.
She would need you to be complete.

You were created for your three children.
They would need you to give them life.

You were created to climb mountains.

So climb your mountain,
And soak in the wonder.

Climb your mountain,
Reaching the top but not arriving.

For it is the destination and the journey.
Your next mountain will be calling soon.

“The mountains are calling and I must go.”  ~John Muir

Here’s my take on our time overseas in regards to the length of time you stay for someone who knows their time is limited. You may agree and you may disagree but I’ve paid attention to others here, along with or own experience, and when they left and how long they were here and I think it’s generally true. Key words: “my take” and “generally”.

1 year – Not nearly enough time to get a good handle on really living life here, basically an extended vacation.
2 years – Enough time to settle in but you leave with a longing for more. You are changed and more open minded but it would still be pretty easy to fall back into your former way of life. Just not enough time for things to dig in deep.
3 years – Perfect amount of time! You’ve had time to see it all, eat it all, buy it all and you leave with a fulfilled sense of having lived a good life overseas. You are changed and life back home will most likely never be the same. And you’re grateful for that.
4 years – You are definitely changed. Very different. It will be hard to repatriate without frustration. But your time here feels like it’s dragging. It’s like Senioritis. You’re ready to get out of high school and move on to college. Or you’re ready to get out of college and move on to real life. You’ve seen it all, done it all, ate it all and it’s time to move on to the next adventure.

I’m not writing this post so much for me but maybe for others you may know who will be going through this transition one day. I hope I don’t offend anyone but I feel the need to say it since it’s part of my journey and this is somewhat of a journal.

If you’re a woman and have given birth to a child, you remember what it feels like to get to the end and just want that kid out of your body! You’ve appreciated the 9 months, it’s been very special, you are grateful for the miraculous gift of carrying new life inside of you, but it’s time for this kid to be loved from the outside rather than the inside.

When you were at this point in the pregnancy, do you remember people telling you to “enjoy every second of it”, “you’ll miss being pregnant”, “don’t rush things”? When ALL you can think about is how swollen your ankles are, how you can’t even see to put your shoes on IF you have shoes that even fit anymore, how even drinking a sip of water gives you indigestion and how every. single. day. was one more day of back aches and longing to feel your lips touch that baby’s sweet cheeks! And if you heard one more person tell you to be patient and that you’ll miss it when it’s over, you might punch them in the face? I LOVED being pregnant. Did it three times but I also LOVED when that baby came out. If I wanted to be pregnant again, if I missed it, I would do it again. If I could, which I can’t.

This is how I feel about leaving Singapore. I am grateful for the experience. There have been an uncountable (probably not a word) number of special moments and memories. But we’ve been there, done that and bought LOTS of t shirts and it’s hard to not want to move on to the next phase of life when you know that time has come. If we were going to stay here longer we’d continue to live well but we have a one way ticket out on June 22 and it’s time to go. It’s not like we constantly long for the next thing. We’ve been mostly content for the 4 years we’ve been here but now that we know we’re leaving, it’s just time to get this show on the road. There will be some things we miss (honestly, really only the people) but we are ready to “push this baby out” and give Texas a big ol’ kiss on its cute chubby cheek!

I say all this to say that we’d love for you to be excited for us for our future adventures rather than telling us all the things we’ll miss. Honestly, we’ve had 4 years to eat it all, see it all and buy it all. There’s nothing else we crave or feel like we’ve missed out on from our experience in Singapore. If we could take some of the people we love with us then we’d be in great shape!

No one can possibly know the ins and outs of our experiences just as no one really knows how that pregnant woman feels. Maybe she’s put on a face for a long time because she wants to have a positive attitude but maybe she cries at night because she’s so uncomfortable. Our experiences are each so unique and individual. In the 4 years we’ve been here, we’ve moved one child out of our nest and graduated her from college and started planning a wedding, moved another child out of our nest graduating him from high school and shipped him back to the US for college, our third has gone from being a 10 year old little girl to becoming a young woman. We’ve missed a zillion birthdays and holidays with our kids and our family back home, buried a parent, have sat by helpless while loved ones at home have gone through tough times and sickness. We’ve said countless goodbyes with thoughts of possibly never seeing that person again. We’ve gone through the hardest times our marriage has had to endure, and the list goes on… The good has helped balance out the hard but the hard was still very very very hard. We know we’ll have hard in Texas. We’re not delusional. Life is hard no matter where you are but we won’t be a world away from those we miss being close to.

I’m just saying, when someone is going through a transition, just listen and encourage and hug and savor the moment but don’t act like you know how it is because you’ve “been there”. You haven’t been there like I’ve been there and I haven’t been there like you’ve been there. Be happy for us/them. We are sad about leaving but it’s happening regardless so help us leave well and move on with good thoughts ahead rather than listing all the sad things we’re leaving behind. We definitely do not regret having moved to Singapore or living here for 4 years.

Will we do it again? Maybe. Just like in pregnancy, we sort of forget about the swollen ankels and indigestion and want to do it again. We will get bored and crave adventure again, but for now, we are ready to go home and settle back into a familiar way of living. We are ready to live in our house. We are ready to have a garage and build stuff and fix stuff and hang our own pictures on the walls. We are ready to drive our own cars and park for free right in front of the grocery store. We are ready to hang out outside and visit with our neighbors over the fence. We are ready to be surprised by the doorbell because a friend or family member just decides to pop by. We are ready to be in the same time zone as our kids, family and friends. We are ready to have this “baby”. It has been a long “pregnancy”. We’re not bitter and we’re not miserable and we want to finish our “race” well. We are “look ahead” kind of people. We’re not the kind of people who get bogged down in the past or in the craziness of the now. We’re moving forward. It’s just how we roll.

… And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2

It was a great Mother’s Day all in all. Getting to be a Mom is such a gift and one of the things I love doing the most. I’m the luckiest Mom in the world!

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier. – Albert Schweitzer

In a lot of ways, this Mother’s Day feels a little upside down.

This Mother’s Day is the first one with a real cloud hanging over it. My first Mother’s Day in Singapore was tough too. Being away from one of my kids and my two favorite Moms, FAR FAR away. But not being able to tell someone Happy Mother’s Day after you’ve done so for your whole life, in Tommy’s case, and half of my life, in my case, is beyond hard.

I don’t want to steal my Mom’s thunder from this holiday but I had to journal my thoughts and feelings about this first Mother’s Day without one of my top two most important mothers, Anita, my mother-in-law.

IF God told those in Heaven (which He obviously doesn’t) that they could choose one day to go back to earth, I feel like Anita would choose Mother’s Day. She loved being a Mom and was SO good at it.

It is painful beyond words to experience this Mother’s Day without one of the most important Mom’s in my life, my mother in law. Without her son, I would not be the Mom I am today. Without her kind of love, my kids would not be the kids they are today. My life just would not be the same.

Because of her incredible life, I will honor her memory by enjoying this day to the fullest. By blessing my children with my love while I can. By telling my mom how much I love her and how thankful I am for her and hugging her just as soon as I can. By hurting with those who ache for their babies that they never did or no longer can hold in their arms.

She lived life to the fullest. She enjoyed every single second of her time spent with her kids and would do ANYTHING for us. She knew how to smile. She knew how to laugh. She knew how to love. And she knew how to share it all. The BEST gift a mom could give to her kids, wouldn’t you say?

I miss Anita. Tommy misses his Mom. Our kids miss their Mimi. We’ve cried. But we will choose joy. We will choose to smile at the good. Laugh at the funny. And love and live to the fullest.

We do not grieve as those who have no hope. 1 Thes 4:13

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you’ve made your last couple of nail appointments and spa treatments to use up your package.

You know you’re leaving Singapore when your calendar is full of pack out, cleaning, and handover dates rather than weekend excursions to cool places.

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you spend more time taking photos of things inside your condo (things to get rid of) than outside (flowers, people, unusual sightings).

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you cherish every. single. precious. moment. spent with friends.

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you have stacks in your house that look like this.

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you have a laundry sorter and butcher block sitting in your living room waiting for pick up.

You know you’re leaving Singapore when you’ve cleared so much furniture that plastic grocery bags become your chest of drawers. Can’t accuse me of not recycling those plastic bags!

Before a condo building sat on this land, a brewery did. Ikea, across the street from us was also part of the brewery. Tommy has enjoyed knowing that we live where a brewery once was.

There are 775 units in our complex. If you figure an average of 5 people per unit, and I have no idea if that’s a good average for Asia or not, but that’s approximately 4000 people living in VERY close proximity to us.

We live on Alexandra Road right behind Anchorpoint mall, across from Ikea, another mall, known as a sports mall/Queensway, on another corner nearby and they’re building yet another mall and hotel I think, right next to Ikea. With two fabulous hawker centers, ABC Brickworks and Alexandra Food Centre, and good grocery stores and restaurants within easy walking distance, it’s a super convenient place to live and we have LOVED it. Tiong Bahru market is also pretty close and there’s an NTUC Fair Price at Dawsons Place a few blocks away. If you worked in this area, you’d really never have to go anywhere else in Singapore for anything.

Not all units in our condo complex will look like ours. The monthly lease amount will vary as well based on size, updates and location/view. Each unit is typically individually owned and the landlord can renovate and update as he wishes. Our landlord renovated this unit for himself to live in and then ended up going to work in Korea so we got super lucky. Everything, I mean everything, was brand new and NICE. It was definitely not renovated with the purpose of renting it out. We were so grateful to find this place and took it immediately at asking price. We needed a place to fit our large table and loved the open concept living. It’s cozy but we are able to find our own privacy as well. The main thing we miss from our other house is a patio with a bbq pit.

Not all units are leased out either. In fact, of the 5 units on our floor, only two of us are renters. The others own and live here. One family has lived here since they built the condo, about 15 years I think.

So… without further adieu, here’s how we live. The first set of photos are from when we viewed the unit. We filled it up!

Condo living is occasionally frustrating, especially here in Singapore where the walls are made from concrete. Renovations going on 5 floors away sound just like they’re in the next room and renovations going on next door are enough to drive you bonkers. Neighbors are often noisy. Smells are often awful but we have mentioned a few times how much we’d like to eat with whoever was cooking that. I’d like to think they’ve thought the same about us at times You have no personal outdoor space. You have no garage to store tools or work on projects. We’ve made a host of good memories in this place. We’ve held many cooking classes, holiday gatherings and bible studies here. Lots of laughs and a few tears. Countless friends, a lot of family and delivery people have buzzed up and walked through our front door.

The unit was recently shown to prospective tenants for when we leave in June. It’s not surprising that the first couple who came to look at it took it. It’s a beautiful condo and has served us well for two years. I’m sure the next tenants will love it as well.

7 weeks from today we will start our new family adventures in Texas.

7 weeks from today SO much will change.

I read Ann Voskamp’s post last night, 4 Steps To Take When You’re Not Ready for Change, and although we are ready for change (mostly), the 4 steps were worth remembering.

Don’t grieve that it’s gone, wonder that it was.

Laugh that you lived and dance that you dared.

Inhale that it happened — and it was grace.

The best way to prepare for what’s ahead is to be present to what is now.

The title I used on my post also came from the above blog. It’s just how I feel about our last 4 years in Singapore. Letting Go. Some of our experiences here are EASY to let go of and some are not. But You don’t get to keep. You get to witness.

Ann Voskamp wrote another post recently about “How to make a better future” and said, “A better future simply begins in a series of prayerful nows.”

This is where I want to live in throughout our next 7 weeks. Those who know me well know how ready I am to leave Singapore and they know why. They know the struggles we’ve endured. They know the good, bad and ugly. And they understand. We will learn from the bad and ugly but we must focus on the good and remember that we’ve had some great adventures and experiences here as well. A LOT of them!! My passport, pictures and my fb friends list don’t lie.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ~Dr. Seuss

And the Happening People smile because it happened at all. ~Ann Voskamp

I will journey through these next 7 weeks doing my best to be grateful, positive and prayerful. And a “happening person”.

This trip home marks our last round trip flight between Singapore and Texas. In June we will be making our final trip to Texas from Singapore on a one way ticket.

So here is some of what did/saw/ate and a few of the people we shared some of our time with. I didn’t take as many pictures of people as I should have.

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One of the main things God showed me on my Journey with Choose to Invest was that He is always there. He meets me where I’m at. He doesn’t run ahead and set a bar for me to try and jump to reach for. He walks with me. In my dark times, the valleys in life that you don’t think you will ever come out of. He also walks with me over the summits of the highest mountains, the peaks where you can’t explain the peace and grace and joy.

I experienced both of these in a period of a day.

Just a bit of background before I go on. I’ve been to Kenya twice before with 410 Bridge and Brazos Pointe Fellowship, of which both times we went to a community called Segera (about an hours drive outside of Nanyuki under the magnificent Mt. Kenya). I fell in love with Masai culture, the people, the traditions, the spirit and atmosphere of the children at Endana Primary School and the deep wisdom of the adults and teachers. Both times I left God continually put that area of Kenya on my heart and before long I was constantly longing to go to what had quickly become my favorite place on Earth. So it’s no wonder when Cody told us we’d get to spend a few days in Segera, I was pumped! Word spread to one of my best friends, Zach (who was also on Journey) as he has experienced Segera 3 times before hand and both times with me.

Pretty soon, it was time to go to Segera, and Zach and I bothered Cody multiple times to tell us what community in Segera we’d be going to. We had grown to love and adore the people of Endana since the relationships we had built all existed within the compounds of the Primary and Secondary school. Cody finally told us we would be spending time in Ereri. I was still pumped, because Ereri is a community I have always desired to go to and experience what God is doing there, and because it was a half hour walk to Endana. We arrived in Ereri and immediately started introductions and meeting the adults we would teach Rejoice Project to for the time we were there. We immediately saw a familiar face, Chrispoh, who had been a huge part of both my trips previously. Immediately a desire fell over me that was overwhelming to go and see the people of Endana. It was unexplainably heavy and would not leave my thoughts. It was hard to be present in Ereri, it was hard to move forward knowing it was possible I might not see them in the short time we were there. I prayed. A lot. I asked God to allow me to see Elizabeth and Domarise. To be able to shake Kamal’s hand and give a big hug to Mary Isiki.

But the truth began etching at my soul, the terrifying truth that I am not supposed to go to Endana this trip. We called all over to get permission to go. The last full day it hit me harder than I would have expected. Hannah, The Rejoice Project Manager, talked to us all and her words exactly were, “Ask God to show you what is keeping you from being present in Him and leave it at the door of the church.” I broke down, or in other words I hit the lowest valley. My favorite place on this Earth was right over the hill. All the people I loved so dearly and cherished and prayed for and worshipped with and worked along side of… it was too much. I couldn’t be present in Ereri and that was hard. So I took some time off and allowed God to work in me and asked Him to bring clarity… my answer was simple and came straight from Cody’s mouth when he walked on the bus and said, ”You aren’t going to Endana.” For whatever reason a peace fell over me and I felt almost a sense that I had overcome a massive obstacle. I had obeyed when it was terribly hard to obey. I had accepted the fact that it wasn’t going to happen, that God is ultimate authority and it wasn’t mine or Zach’s time to go to Endana. God is with them whether we can go and see them or not.

We continued with the day by stepping back in and helping out teaching Rejoice Project to the leaders in Segera. It was time for them to meet in the church and debrief when I faintly hear Cody calling Zach and I outside. There really was only one reason in my head to why he would call both me and Zach outside and my heart began pounding, and all he needed to say was, “You guys are going to Endana.” What?! I could not believe it. How could this happen when I had just accepted the fact that God wasn’t allowing us to go? I quickly began rising out of the valley.

With Crispoh, we headed over the hill to Endana. I’ve never felt so at peace and calm as we traveled along the Kenyan landscape, until we saw Endana Primary School in the distance. Excitement rose and as we entered the complex we saw Elizabeth and the grade 7 girls come outside and we jumped off to hug them in their amazement. They weren’t expecting us to come, and really neither were we! They showed us around some of the new buildings and what has grown into a really beautiful primary school. The new kitchen, the new classrooms, the new dining area. It is always a blessing when God allows you to see the fruits of His work in something He has allowed you to be apart of.

I only had one more desire and that was to see Mary Isiki and give her a letter from my sister. She was nowhere to be found and I was told she had left school already. I was bummed, but still ecstatic of the happenings of the day as we left our goodbyes at the school. We rode down the road and quickly passed a group of grade 3 girls where I barely spotted Isiki in the crowd of faces. Crispoh came to a stop and I jumped off and talked to her, gave her the letter and soaked in a perfect moment. She had grown up from the little preschool girl my sister once new 4 years ago. Now she is more outspoken and tall and as beautiful a little girl as you could imagine. It was a short moment, but one I’ll remember forever.

God taught me a lot in this one day. He broke me to teach me obedience and His ultimate authority. He taught me that even in the hardest of times He is right next to me. He taught me that through obedience comes a beautiful rest and peace (Hebrews 3:18). He took me down to the valley to show me something and immediately brought me out to reveal to me His splendor and glory. I remember this part of my Journey as the breaking point of myself and the beginning of a God-centered journey. God still had a ton to teach me (as He always does), but this stands out as the day of my summer where God revealed Himself to me and His truth in a massive way.

-Jakeb

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This is Jakeb and Zach on the moto with Crispoh headed to Endana. Pure joy!

And I had to add this photo of Jakeb and Mary Isiki on the side of the road. Zach took this when he delivered Tori’s letter to her. It still brings tears. God definitely gives us the desires of our hearts when our hearts are in line with His.

And now, Stunz family “6″… it’s time to save our dimes. I’m SO ready to go back!!